8 Things to AVOID when building your Plus Size closet and creating plus size outfits | Plus Size Fashion Do’s and Don’t

The journey to defining your style and coordinating a closet that you love can be a hard one. I’ve experienced so many ups, downs, wins, and fails as I’ve worked through my style journey. I’ve learned quite a few lessons that have helped me build a better and stronger closet. Since I don’t believe in gatekeeping, I’m going to share the eight things I no longer do that have helped shape my personal style.

1. I don't obsess over a number on a little tag

I no longer obsess over a number on a tiny little tag inside my jeans. When I was younger, this was a big issue for me. As a teen, I grew up in the ultrathin, low rise era. This time frame was not kind to a curvy girl that at her lowest was maybe a size 10 or 12. Moving into young adulthood, I would squeeze into smaller sizes because I really wanted to shop with my friends and the fourteen was sometimes the only “big size” available. So I bought those tight, muffin top building pants even though I actually needed a size sixteen. Eventually, I came to realize that fit was more important than what the pants size tag said. How good you look in a pair of pants comes down to how they fit you and not what number is on the tag. Not to mention, not every store’s size 18 will fit the same. At some stores I’m an 18. At some stores I’m a 16. Then there’s Target where I’m a size 22. Given that these fashion retailers aren’t sure what is definitively a size 18, why am I expected to define myself and my worth around an arbitrary number? That’s why I say don't focus on the number. Focus on the cut, fit, and color of the pants. Focus on if they will work within your wardrobe. These are the important questions to be worried about in the dressing room, not what number is on the tag. Ultimately, the number is for your reference only. It’s a guide and should be used as such. If you're still down about it, just remember that no one can see what size your pants are. They can, however, see that those well fitting jeans make you butt look amazing. So focus on getting the best fit to highlight your assets and not squeezing in pant that to fit a certain size.

2. I don’t have to spend a lot of money to look good.

When I rebooted my closet with the intention of redefining my style, I made two mistakes. The first was that I threw away too much without a plan. Then when I created a plan, I thought that I had to shop at really expensive stores to achieve the look I wanted. Much like you’re doing right now, I was really into watching fashion videos and trying to figure out my style. The trouble with that is some of these creators were pushing extremely expensive items. No offense to them. If you got it, then you got it, but I didn’t have five hundred to pay for one dress or shirt. I was on a very strict budget, but I still needed to rebuild my now empty closet. As well as I wanted to look good and dive into what soon would become a love for style. That’s what brings me to number two on this list. I learned that I don’t have to spend a lot of money to look good.

We are often bombarded with people saying that you need the latest designer thing to look good. That you shouldn’t buy from certain stores. Or that you need these big hauls in order to build a good closet. I don’t really agree. Luxury and designer are nice, but having designer things doesn’t make you stylish, it makes you fashionable. Style is your fashion story that you tell with your creative looks. Labels don’t do that. You do that. This act of expressing style can be done with a million dollars or with ten dollars. It’s all about how creative you are with the clothing pieces that you have. This is why I love shopping secondhand. You can find such interesting pieces when you go thrifting. Interesting pieces that become the building blocks for my looks for very little money. I don’t spend a lot at thrift stores. Yet, some of my favorite pieces have come from thrift stores. Some of my most complimented pieces have either come from thrift stores or regular stores where I didnt spend that much on them. It’s all in how you style things. Speaking of regular stores, I believe the same thing. You can shop inexpensive retailers that have clothes that work for not only your style but your budget and are cute.

That’s why I make my mood board items somewhat affordable. I try where I can to keep your budgets in mind. If you don’t know, I create mood boards for all of my styling videos. They have links to exact items or dupes. I try to keep the items inexpensive—to a degree—because I know how it feels to want to build a closet and not have a ton of money. Style isn’t about the money, it’s about the creativity. So, I do believe you can have cute clothes in your closet, without having to spend a ton. You’ll have to be creative and resourceful, but it doesn’t have to cost a ton of money to look good.

3. I don’t have an unbalanced closet

I used to have a bad habit of either buying things for events because I felt that I didn’t have anything to wear in my closet. Or, I would buy a lot of trendy clothes, thinking that would help with my style needs. What I needed was to balance my closet. The majority of your wardrobe should be basics. You need a well stock closet of basics because those are the pieces that help you build amazing outfits. It’s something like seventy percent should be basics and the other thirty should be trendy pieces. Speaking of trendy pieces, don’t let trends over take your closet. Yes, you should partake in trends, but don’t fill your closet with trendy clothes. Basics live a lot longer in your closet than trends do.

Keeping a balanced closet helps me be able to shop my closet. I don’t have to shop for clothes as much or feel I have nothing to wear because my closet is balanced. When you take the time to balance your closet, and stock it with the things you need, you’ll find that it becomes a lot easier to create outfits. So if you need a sign to go buy some wardrobe basics and clean your closet, then this is it.

4. I don’t settle or buy clothes just because they’re on sale

Number four, I don’t buy clothes just because it’s on sale. I’m a big clearance section kind of girl. I don’t mind getting things from the sale section because most of the times it was something that I’d wanted when it was full price. However, there used to be a time early in my style journey that I would just buy stuff because it was on sale. I didn’t think about what I could do with it, or if it would fit in with my present wardrobe and style. I just saw the price and leaped at what I thought was a deal.

It wasn’t until I became more intentional about my style that I saw the problem with buying just for the price. I was putting a bunch of stuff into my closet that not only didn’t work for my overall style, but was taking up space—both mentally and physically. Physically because it was overloading my closet, and mentally because it was overloading my brain as I tried to look for things to wear. Once I stopped buying because it was on sale, I saw a big change in my closet and shopping. I put in more thought and take more time before purchasing. I still shop sales, but only for the things that I absolutely need and will serve my closet. So, start being more intentional about what you purchase. Yes, that clearance price is low, but do you actually need it?

5. I don't fall into the I’m too ____ trap

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned about style and getting dressed is not to fall into the I’m too (blank) trap. This is when you tell yourself that I’m too old to wear something. Or that I’m too fat to wear something. Or I’m too insert whatever you think you’re too much of to wear the thing that you want to wear. Let me be the first to tell you that this is a complete lie. Society has told us that only certain bodies and certain ages should wear certain types of clothing. They aim this at women to brew insecurities that otherwise wouldn’t have been there. These arbitrary rules, like women over thirty-five, shouldn’t wear miniskirts, or plus size women shouldn’t wear tight-fitting clothes, need to be pushed out of your mind. Wear what you want to wear. Wear the things that make you feel beautiful and match the style you’re trying to achieve. Pushing the I’m too (blank) trap out of my mind has really helped me explore my fashion likes and dislikes. Now, if I wear or don’t wear a clothing item, it’s because I don’t like it and not because I feel I’m too much for that said item. So begin letting go of the I’m too (blank) thoughts and start embracing different styles that you’ve been denying yourself.

6. I don't view outfit repeating as bad

The next thing I no longer do that’s helped me develop my style is to stop looking at outfit repeating as bad. I hate the idea that you can only wear an outfit once. If you created an amazing outfit and put it on Instagram, you are then expected to chuck said outfit into the sun because it can never be worn again. Actually, it should be the complete opposite. If you wore something that worked so well that you shared it, and then everyone else loved it too, you should wear it again. Our wardrobes aren’t built like that of celebrities and major influencers. Our closets are made to be worn over and over again. By repeating outfits, you also find new and interesting ways to put remixes on your look. This helps you not only grow your style but also your styling talents. You learn from doing. You can’t improve if you don’t keep trying.

There is nothing wrong with re-wearing clothes and outfits that you love. Re-wearing outfits that make you feel beautiful and confident in your skin should be put on repeat. Also, repeating outfits I know worked once tells me that it’s probably going to work again. Who doesn’t love a surefire go to look? Ultimately, outfit repeating is not a bad thing. It’s good for your closet, wallet, and your overall style.

7. I don’t leave off the final touches

I don’t leave off the final touches. Things like belts, jewelry, and jackets help complete your outfit. In the past, I didn’t always include these things into my outfit creation. Now, I’ve learned that adding these final touches can really make the look. So when you’re creating your outfits, don’t forget those final touches to really make your outfit shine.

8. I don’t Let “Cassandra” stop your slay

Finally, we have the last thing I stopped doing. I don’t let “Cassandra” stop my slay. I know what you’re wondering, who is Cassandra? Cassandra was a “friend” I knew when I was young that pointed out in front of all our mutual friends that one of my body parts was shaped weird and I shouldn’t be wearing what I’m wearing. It hurt my feelings and for a while I was hesitant to wear that item or similar things for a while. I was young, and it rocked my budding confidence. I let it hurt me instead of treating it like I should—as an unneeded opinion. People are going to give you their opinion on your body and how you should dress. These comments can be well intentioned or just said to cut down your confidence. Regardless of how it’s delivered, their thoughts on your body and outfits are their thoughts alone. Let go of your Cassandra and their opinions, and start focusing on what you like and what makes your feel good. Start focusing on what pleases you. Even when what brings you joy doesn’t please others. When you push aside other people’s thoughts on your style and body, it gives you space to do what you love and to explore your taste and interest. That’s why it’s called personal style—because it’s the style the reflects what you love. Your style and body doesn’t have to make sense or even be liked by other people. The only person’s opinion on that should matter is your own. So, whoever your Cassandra is, disregard her thoughts on your body and clothes, and do what makes you happy.

When exploring your style, there are going to be so many wins and quite a few fails. Hopefully, the lessons I’ve learned can help you have an easier time on your journey. Speaking of fashion journeys, what are some lessons you’ve learned so far? Let’s talk about them in the comments.